Two sets of relationship blueprints are used in professional relationships. When we are in a position of authority, the Authority Blueprint governs our interactions with authority figures and our subordinates. Our relationships with coworkers are governed by the Sibling Blueprint.
By claiming to be one large, contented family, many businesses today attempt to cultivate a sense of community and employee loyalty. Ironically, we do experience our professional environment as a family despite the company’s efforts to foster a sense of family there. Naturally, our company is akin to our family, with the same dysfunctional dynamics that we experienced as children.
The relationships with our parents serve as the foundation for our Authority Blueprints. The Male Authority Blueprint applies to our interactions with men in authority and is based on our relationship to our father. Our relationship with our mother informs our Female Authority Blueprint, which applies to our interactions with women in authority. The blueprint of our same-gender parent has the greatest influence on us when we are in positions of authority. The problem is that our relationship with our parents has an actual impact on how we relate to our supervisors at work. We project our unresolved issues with our parents onto our supervisors subconsciously. We expect our bosses to give us the sort of adoration and backing that we didn’t get from our folks.
In professional relationships with authority figures, we will have the opportunity to resolve any specific issues we may have with either of our parents. We may have difficulty disagreeing with our male supervisors if, for instance, we never felt able to disagree with our father. We rarely receive recognition for our contributions because we may not feel entitled to voice our opinions. Naturally, this can hinder our ability to advance, be acknowledged, satisfy our needs for validation, and feel safe.
We may not fully respect the authority of our female supervisors if, as children, we were able to disregard our mother’s instructions and rules. We may unwittingly test their authority and perceive the amount we can pull off, in light of the fact that we need them to furnish us with the protected areas of strength for and that our moms didn’t. Obviously, this can likewise have an adverse consequence on our possibilities for professional success and professional stability.
The relationships with our coworkers also improve when we decide to stop treating our supervisors like parents. Of course, we will still compete with our coworkers, but at least now we are not competing for their affection. There is no longer a high-stakes game between us. This lets us play the game with more fun and relieves a lot of pressure. We now have much more healthy competition with our coworkers.